To continue yesterday’s post with a personal experience: One of my kids made herself something to eat and didn’t clean up the dishes and frying pan. The accumulation of dishes in the sink is one of those things that I can overlook at first but get increasingly irritated about as time goes on. This is especially the case since people in my house frequently make themselves something to eat at all kinds of odd hours of the day and we’re all busy enough that I don’t always bump into the culprit.
It’s a tricky business to catch myself early in the irritation process and not let my emotions build up inside, and I suspect this is true of other people too. So I thought about this scene some more and about what I’m experiencing.
A small irritation doesn’t feel the same as a big irritation. Therefore it’s easy to discount my feelings and tell myself it’s not a big deal. – Why am I making such a fuss out of it?
This minimizing of feelings is further enhanced by my desire to not get irritated and stressed and be accepting of whatever is, just for my own sense of calm and serenity.
But acceptance of what is shouldn’t negate the evaluation of what is and the wish to make changes. So I dropped the irritation but didn’t drop the wish to see change. Coming from this attitude of acceptance I asked in a matter-of-fact way that she clean up her stuff. And in a matter-of-fact way she did!
Why couldn’t she have done this on her own without my saying anything? That’s just the way it is.