Balance between being finished and being there

My schedule is full – packed to the minute. I would pretty much like to follow my schedule. That way everything I want to be sure to do gets attention. At the same time it’s important to me to focus on what I’m doing right now as if nothing else is on my plate. This is really the key to my feeling fully engaged in life.

There has to be a good measure of flexibility for things that come up. But if there’s too much flexibility I can’t focus. I’m distracted by thoughts of everything else that will have to get cut. The move from there to “Gee, I’m really hungry” is not very far away, since the kitchen is in the next room over from the computer.

Today was going to be the first day I would get up and follow my new routine for the year. I got up at 6:30. Then I got sidetracked. I’m not saying this in order to be hard on myself but to evaluate what happens and to change this pattern.

As the minutes went creeping by – 9:00, 9:15, 9:30… I started desperately trying to complete a task that was going to take longer than the amount of time I was willing to devote to it. On the other hand if I wasn’t going to do it now, I had to agree to leave it unfinished. It’s not easy for me to leave things for later. But in the balance of things what is more important? As good as it feels to check off another task, I prefer being present and having a settled mind. These are higher values for me.

The sooner I catch myself in these situations and make the decision to leave it for now the better off I am emotionally and spiritually. So this year I’m going to try out a new way of being. Practice the impossible balancing act of being fully present for the present task, yet let go when time comes for the next task.

People have written loads about time management. But I want to go deeper than just the question of prioritizing, and what is urgent and so forth. It’s a matter of values, and of what’s needed based on my particular strengths and weaknesses, to develop spiritually.

Will this mean half-finished blog posts? Only time will tell…

Batya Yaniger

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