Catch-22


Any time there’s a discussion about doing what we can do while knowing that we can’t control the outcome I’ve noticed an uneasy feeling that comes up for me. Yes, we find ourselves by losing ourselves in the values that we care about. Yet this is a catch-22. As soon as I think I am making my unique contribution to the world by fulfilling my unique task, I become invested in it. If my actions don’t yield the outcome I wanted I feel I’ve failed! This thought automatically removes me from my dereflective mode where I was focused on the value back to a hyperreflective focus on myself again.

This is actually a good thing because this place of not being in control of the outcome pushes me into the right direction by reminding me that it’s not about me! It tests my humility like nothing else can! Am I doing it because I have to be the one to do it or am I doing it because this is my awesome responsibility?

Another uneasy feeling relates to the value itself. If it is truly a labor of love for something or someone I care about, then how can I be satisfied knowing that the person I’m helping could die or that a situation that needs to change might not change? How can I relax when this is something I deeply care about?!

I need to know there is a third entity in the room. I can do my task knowing there is a compassionate God with an ultimate plan. God has brought me into this situation and given me this role.I haven’t been given this task to do because it’s insurmountable. I need to trust that this task was given to me for a reason and whatever I’ve done had meaning to it. I struggle over writing these words because they can sound like such a cliche on paper. But if I can get to the depth of these truths about humility and trust, this is the secret to healing and fixing the world. (submitted by Batya)

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